The Intrepid Alpine Skier

Flims-Laax, Switzerland  (March, 2011)

Having at long last succumbed to mounting pressure from sports safety advocates, I now grace local

ski slopes wearing a high-impact carbon crash helmet as standard equipment.  Naturally, friends are

curious to know if the device actually works; that is to say, when I fall on my head, does it cushion the

blow?   Ha! Ha!  Very funny!  Yours truly, an accomplished skier of many years' standing, does not fall

on the ski slopes.  (Note: Technically speaking, lurching into a forward somersault is not considered

"falling," provided one manages to land on his feet again and resume a downhill course under his own

power and without loss of momentum, thus appearing to have performed the maneuver intentionally.)

No, no, I wear a helmet strictly for flair; it makes me look cool.